A jason segal type character
Well folks, I’m taking the plunge.
Is that the nicest way to refer to getting engaged?
Perhaps not, but as a sentiment it captures my “hesitancy” around the whole business.
And that’s just it: I don’t think I’m being “hesitant,” more like cautious, measured, not in a sprint to be first to the moon in this particular forum.
For every time someone asks me, “when are you guys getting married?” or “why don’t you just ask her already?” I postpone by at least three months. I’m on my own fuckin’ timeline.
Which also brings me to very important point: I’m the luckiest man in the world to not have a woman who is rushing me to bend the knee. “When you’re ready, I’m ready” has been her motto.
That’s the type of no pressure, “be cool, baby, be cool” shit that makes me wanna marry her. It’s a weird, fucked up paradox.
We have been together for a lifetime already. Nine years consecutive at the time of this writing. Before that, we did about a year and then took some time apart. One of those cool off, see the world, work some shit out and come back home to each other sort of things.
During these nine years, we have built an incredibly strong foundation. One that has never even suggested a faltering. I’m not sayin’ we’re perfect, because nobody is. And we have the same shot everyone else who gets married has. But I do think we have what it takes to get to the moon, and it has never about being the first. It’s always been about being the strongest. About having the endurance, the unconditional feeling, the ultimate bond that is needed to have even a shot at longevity. And with all of that, still nothing is guaranteed.
Marriage is like exercise or eating healthy. It takes constant work and daily committal to the commitment. You gotta keep getting the reps in.
It’s not like getting a degree, where you do all of the work and then it’s all over and you never have to do math again.
Marriage is work that never ends.
I am and have always been acutely aware of these requirements. That’s why I have not been in a rush to the moon.
I wanted to take my time to hone my craft and build that foundation I was talking about.
Now I’ve gotten to a point where I have done those things, and I know I will continue to do those things, but it’s finally time to do those things together in an official capacity. The time is now.
The real truth of the matter is, we’ve already been doing it. We just need to put our adult pants on and sign a piece of paper.
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Recently, I heard a story about my bride to be.
It was about her as a little girl on Christmas morning. How every year, she would open her presents one by one. After each gift was revealed, she would take the time to turn to her mother and say “oh, thank you mommy! It’s the greatest gift ever! I always wanted this!” and then she would open another present and then turn to her mother and say “aw, thank you mommy! It’s the greatest gift ever! I always wanted this!” Repeat repeat repeat until the gifts were all unwrapped and revealed.
This is the spirit of the woman I am lucky to call my partner. The sweetness, the graciousness, the caring nature that existed in her heart and mind even at a young age. That is the person I am lucky to share a life with.
And she happens to be the most beautiful woman in the world too.
So it’s with all of that and so much more that I embark on this next journey. I’m sure not much will change, just that status on a piece of paper. We will keep going, floating our way to the moon.
Unless she says “no.”